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Ice Age: Collision Course (Transcript)
"Twentieth Century Fox Animation Presents" "a Blue Sky Studios Production" Scene 1 Neil deBuck Weasel: lines; narrating The universe...a vast expanse of space and matter. It includes all that we see, and all that we know. Since the beginning of time, we have wondered how it came to be. A gloriously orchestrated plan? A chance series of events? Or something much, much...dumber? Francine: Breaking up with you. Scene 2 Sid: Everybody has somebody and all I got is my boyish good looks and this Mariachi band. Mariachi band begins to play, and he starts to cry Scene 3 explode like fireworks, making Manny and Ellie's anniversary go better Manny and Sid: each other Nice save with the light show. Wait, you didn't do this? Then who did? Ellie: Oh, Manny... I was so afraid you'd forgotten, but you lit up the sky for me? How'd you do it? Manny: Uh, well... thinking ...A magician never reveals his secrets. Ellie: Oh... thank you! To be continued Macrauchenia: Meteor shower! Eddie: Meteor? Crash: his arm pit Shower?! Scene 4 Buck: Oh, right on the spleen! Utterly useless, but totally hurts. Diego: Hey, Buck! Welcome back, buddy. Shira: Wait. This half a snack is a dinosaur whisperer? Buck: And expert salsa dancer. scats I have 1 eye, but all my original teeth. Would you like to count them? his teeth Shira: No thank you. Buck: And this must be... Nectarine? Peaches: Um, Peaches. Buck: Semantics my dear. I am deeply honored. Julian: Sweet eyepatch. Very gangster. Buck: Thank you! Peaches I like this kid. and Eddie keep drumming all the time, Manny takes the drum sticks away Manny: Do you mind? Crash: Boy, he really sucks the fun out of everything, doesn't he? Eddie: FUNSUCKER! To be continued Buck: No worries, because I have a plan. Manny: Really? (You've got a plan?) To stop an asteroid? Buck: the tablets on the prophecy Look, the last two asteroids have pummeled the earth in the same spot. And it's about to happen again. We've got to go there and see what's attracting the asteroid. Once we know why it's coming... we can figure out how to send it somewhere else. Granny: That plan is so dumb, I wish it had a face so I could smack it! Manny: Let me get this straight... instead of running away from a deadly asteroid... you want us to run directly towards it?! Buck: I know it sounds suboptimal. But the good news is, it'll kill us no matter where we went! Diego: Well, that's reassuring. Manny: Okay. Even if we get to the crash site... how are we supposed to change what is literally written in stone? Buck: Ah, my cynical friend, the dinos were wiped off the face of the Earth, but some escaped. They changed their fate and we can change ours, too! Who's with me?! all look, then huddle in Manny: So... what do you think? Ellie: Honestly, I'm worried the weasel's right. Buck: No! showing him with a leaf hat Don't listen to the weasel. He's a raving loon! looks at him confusingly; laughs Sorry, I just love playing devil's advocate. And looking fabulous! away while waving his bottom Diego: Well, Buck has saved our lives before, right? Shira: But what if he can't this time? Peaches: I don't know what to believe, but I'm afraid our lives will be over before they begin. break up Manny: cuts out a prophecy Okay, I guess...we're in. Crash and Eddie: salute Crash and Eddie reporting for duty! Eddie: Haha! "Duty". and Crash laugh Buck: Excellent! Scene 5 and Manny walking behind Peaches and Julian Manny: scoffs Look at him. sees Julian walking funny Who walks like that? Julian "Oh, look at me. I'm Julian. Forget the asteroid and give me a hug, bro dad." coughing Look at that pretty bird over there. Julian the bird Julian: Yeah. That is a pretty bird. Good eye, Manny. Manny: nervously The sky's literally falling and she thinks we're just gonna let her stroll into the wilderness with mister no plan's bouncy walk. Ellie: Stop picking on him. Manny: Come on, El, you're still mad at me, are you? Ellie: No, I'm not still mad. Because that's not how I wanna spend what could be our final days together. But if we somehow survive that planet-killing hunk of space rock, you're in for it. Manny: If we survived, we lose our daughter. Ellie: Well, I've been thinkin' about that, too. What if-- Manny: interrupts Oh, I know. We destroy their relationship, right? That way we never have to let her go and she'll just stay our little girl FOREVER! evilly Ellie: No, you psychopath. What if we convince them to stay near us? Manny: Oh, that's better. I like it. But how? Ellie: The way we always get her to do what we want, we make her think it's her idea. Manny: You sneaky, sneaky minx. He-he-he. Ellie: Let's just hope we haven't lost our touch. Buck: upside down in front of Ellie Found it. Behold, mammals, a sneak preview of the asteroid to come. A space rock. Fresh from the cosmos. the space rock Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. A taste iron, a carbon... gurgles ...oh, and a hint of nickel. Oh, space taste lonely. Scene 6 Scene 7 Scene 8 Scene 9 Scene 10 Scene 11 Scene 12 Scene 13 Scene 14 Scene 15 Scene 16 Scene 17 Scene 18 Scene 19 Scene 20 Scene 21 Scene 22 Scene 23 Scene 24 Scene 25 Scene 26 Scene 27 Scene 28 Scene 29 Scene 30 Scene 31 Scene 32 Scene 33 Scene 34 Scene 35 Brooke: Here he is. The master of meditation. The supreme sovereign. The four times heavy thoughts champion of the world! (The Shangri Llama!) Llama spits into a bowl which a Geotopia Aardvark holds Granny: Is that a llama?! I hate llamas! They spit and smell! Diego: over Shira So does she. Crash and Eddie: So do we! hi-five Scene 36 and Ellie are seeing Peaches embracing Julian Ellie: We did a good job raising her. She's stronger than we know. Manny: 2 days ago, I'd have given anything to keep her with us. Now I'd give anything just to see her get married... and leave home... Ellie: Play with her kids... dance with her husband. Manny: Yell at him when he forgets their anniversary. Ellie: It was a good one, wasn't it? Our life? You, me, and Peaches? Manny: Ellie The best. To be continued Sid: he accidentally cracks Geotopia as he meant to give a crystal to Brooke Whoopsies! Shangri Llama: No, no, no! Oof! to build Geotopia, but he can't Simpleton! NINCOMPOOP! Sid: You talking to her (Brooke) or me? Shangri Llama: That wall was the one thing...keeping us young, now we're all doomed! DOOOOOOOOOMED!!! gasps And now I think I have a fever. Thank you so much, doofus! Brooke: Hey, easy there, Llama! This is the doofus of my dreams. He meant well. Shangri Llama: Brooke Oh, "he meant well." WHO CARES?! and Julian gasp Peaches: to Julian So much for serenity. To be continued Brooke: May I remind you Geotopia is not yours to keep. Shangri Llama: No, you may not! Brooke: It came from the sky, and now it's time to give it back. Shangri Llama: It's not! Brooke: It's "too", you old coot. the Geotopians Change isn't easy, but it's part of life. It's time for us to embrace it again, whether you (Shangri Llama) like it...or not. Shangri Llama: a sing-song voice No-oot! Brooke: Listen Llama, I will go nuts and granola on your butt. So either get on board...or go twist yourself into a pretzel and na-ma-stay out of our way. Scene 37 Scene 38 Scene 39 Scene 40 Scene 41 Teddy: What you need is more fiber. Geotopia Shovelmouth: He's right. small crystal drops into the tub; it sinks onto the cracked spot, making bubbles fill up and to make all of them young again Shangri Llama: Oh. Ha! Ha, ha, ha! Shanghai Llama's back on top baby! his beard while the Geotopia beaver returns to normal Ooh, ahh, mmm. old man beard is gone, and he returns to normal Teddy: Gladys? now becomes young, beautiful and fancy Granny: Well, hello, Teddy Bear! looks surprised, his ears make heart-shaped ears Teddy: Mmm-hmm. Granny: Hot tubbin' just got a whole lot hotter. looks at Granny, while the Shangri Llama comes out of the water Shangri Llama: Amazing! It's like some kind of "Fountain of Never Getting Old!" and bushes turn young again Well, we can workshop the name later. bloom and turned young again, Brooke also turns young again too, she sighs Scene 42 Manny: he, Sid, Brooke, and Ellie walk out together Sid? I never thought I'd say this, but you did a great job on the wedding. I owe you bigtime, pal. Sid: You sure do... out a leaf and Manny takes it here's my bill. Manny: What?! Sid: Father of the bride pays for the wedding! It's a tradition I just invented. Manny: the leaf with his trunk Wait a minute. This is ridiculous. Look what you're charging for flowers! Sid: Flowers ain't cheap. Manny: No, they're free! We're in a forest! This bill is outrageous!